| Bless this day
|
| Pinnacle of life
|
| Husband joined to wife
|
| The heart leaps up to behold
|
| This golden day
|
| Today is for Emma
|
| Emma, I give you the rest of my life
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| To cherish and to keep you, to honor you forever
|
| Today is for Emma
|
| My happily soon-to-be wife
|
| Pardon me, is everybody here? |
| Because if everybody’s here, I
|
| Want to thank you all for coming to the wedding, I’d appreciate
|
| Your going even more, I mean you must have lots of better things
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| To do, and not a word of this to Will, remember Will, you know,
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| The man I’m gonna marry, but I’m not, because I wouldn’t ruin
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| Anyone as wonderful as he is--
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| Thank you all
|
| For the gifts and the flowers,
|
| Thank you all,
|
| Now it’s back to the showers,
|
| Don’t tell Will,
|
| But I’m not getting married today.
|
| Bless this day
|
| Tragedy of life
|
| Husband joined to wife
|
| The heart sinks down and feels dead
|
| This dreadful day
|
| Listen, everybody, look, I don’t know what you’re waiting for,
|
| A wedding, what’s a wedding, it’s a prehistoric ritual
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| Where everybody promises fidelity forever, which is
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| Maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of, which is
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| Followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly he’ll realize he’s
|
| Saddled with a nut, and wanna kill me, which he should--
|
| Thanks a bunch,
|
| But I’m not getting married--
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| Go have lunch,
|
| 'Cause I’m not getting married--
|
| You’ve been grand,
|
| But I’m not getting married--
|
| Don’t just stand there,
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| I’m not getting married--
|
| And don’t tell Will,
|
| But I’m not getting married today.
|
| Go, can’t you go?
|
| Why is no-
|
| Body listening?
|
| Goodbye
|
| Go and cry
|
| At another person’s wake
|
| If you’re quick
|
| For a kick
|
| You could pick
|
| Up a christening
|
| But please
|
| On my knees
|
| There’s a human life at stake!
|
| Listen everybody, I’m afraid you didn’t hear, or do you want to
|
| See a crazy lady fall apart in front of you, it isn’t only Will
|
| Who may be ruining his life, you know we’ll both of us be losing
|
| Our identities, I telephoned my analyst about it and he said to
|
| See him Monday, but by Monday I’ll be floating in the Hudson with
|
| The other garbage--
|
| I’m not well,
|
| So I’m not getting married--
|
| You’ve been swell,
|
| But I’m not getting married--
|
| Clear the hall,
|
| 'Cause I’m not getting married--
|
| Thank you all,
|
| But I’m not getting married--
|
| And don’t tell Will,
|
| But I’m not getting married today.
|
| Bless this bride
|
| Totally insane
|
| Slipping down the drain
|
| And bless this day in our hearts
|
| As it starts
|
| To rain
|
| Today is for
|
| Go, can’t you go? |
| |Emma,
|
| Look, you know |Emma,
|
| I adore you all |I give you
|
| But why |The rest of
|
| Watch me die |My life,
|
| Like Eliza on the ice? |
| |To cherish
|
| Look, perhaps |And to keep you,
|
| I’ll collapse |To honor you
|
| In the apse |Forever,
|
| Right before you all, |Today is for Emma,
|
| So take |My happily
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| Back the cake, |Soon-to-be
|
| Burn the shoes and boil the rice. |
| |Wife,
|
| Look, I didn’t wanna have to |My adorable
|
| Tell you, but I may be coming |Wife.
|
| Down with Hepatitis, and I
|
| Think I’m gonna faint, so if
|
| You wanna see me faint, I’ll
|
| Do it happily, but wouldn’t
|
| It be funnier to go and watch
|
| A funeral, so thank you for the
|
| Twenty-seven dinner plates,
|
| Thirty-seven butter knives,
|
| Forty-seven paperweights,
|
| Fifty-seven candleholders--
|
| One more thing--
|
| I am not getting married!
|
| Amen!
|
| Softly said--
|
| But I’m not getting married!
|
| Amen!
|
| With this ring--
|
| Still I’m not getting married!
|
| Amen!
|
| I thee wed.
|
| See, I’m not getting married!
|
| Amen!
|
| Let us pray Let us pray
|
| That we are getting married | |
| That I’m not getting married
|
| Today! |
| | |
| Today!
|
| AMEN! |