| I’ve got a pervert doppelganger
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| He came from over the sea
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| He hangs around doing sexual crimes
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| And the blame is getting pinned on me
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| The blame is getting pinned on me
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| Whenever that pervert shows his face
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| My friends all think he’s me
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| They give him records by Squarepusher
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| And a box of Japanese tea
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| A box of Japanese green tea
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| He’s taken a flat in Smithfields now
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| Where refrigerated lorries unload dead cows
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| They call him the Smithfields Ripper now
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| And the rap is getting pinned on me
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| The rap is getting pinned on me
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| And now my pervert doppelganger
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| Has got my girlfriend’s phone-number
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| I gave her a warning, but yesterday morning
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| She cancelled her date with me
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| 'And made it a date with me!'
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| I went to the flat of my doppelganger
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| I’d copied my girlfriend’s key
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| I waited in a cupboard till they both came round
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| Then jumped out very suddenly
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| Jumped out very suddenly
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| And now we get along like a house on fire
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| The police took away my doppelganger
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| He’s a high security prisoner now
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| Being held under lock and key
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| And everybody thinks, thinks he’s me
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| And when the lorries unload their cows
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| Their hogs, their heifers and sows
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| In piles of slithering meat
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| I give my girl a treat
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| With unstoppable energy
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| Can the man in the mirror be me
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| Can the man in the mirror be me
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| Can the man in the mirror be me
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| Or can it be
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| My pervert doppelganger |