| Washing machine, pinstripe dream stripped the gloss from a beauty queen | 
| Punch and Judy, Judy, Judy | 
| Found our nest in the Daily Express, met the Vicar in a holy vest | 
| Punch and Judy, Punch and Judy | 
| Brought up the children, Church of E, now I vegetate with a color TV | 
| Worst ever thing that happened to me, oh for D-I-V-O-R-C-E | 
| Oh Judy | 
| Whatever happened to pillow fights? | 
| Whatever happened to jeans so tight? | 
| Friday nights? | 
| Whatever happened to Lover’s lane? | 
| Whatever happened to passion games? | 
| Sunday walks in the pouring rain? | 
| Punch, Punch, Punch and Judy | 
| Punch, Punch, Punch | 
| Curling tongs, mogadons | 
| I got a headache baby, don’t take so long | 
| Single beds, middle age dread, losing the war in the waistlands spread | 
| Who left the cap off the toothpaste tube, who forgot to flush the loo? | 
| Leave your sweaty socks outside the door | 
| Don’t walk across my polished floor | 
| Oh Judy | 
| Whatever happened to morning smiles? | 
| Whatever happened to wicked wiles? | 
| Permissive styles? | 
| Whatever happened to twinkling eyes? | 
| Whatever happened to hard fast drives? | 
| Compliments on unnatural size? | 
| Punch, Punch, Punch and Judy | 
| Punch, Punch, Punch | 
| Propping up a bar, family car, sweating out a mortgage as a balding clerk | 
| Punch and Judy | 
| World War Three, suburbanshee, just slip her these pills and I’ll be free | 
| No more Judy, Judy, Judy no more |