| Well the government’s made a document
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| To help prevent embarrassment
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| And in the event of an accident
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| Catching us with our trousers down
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| It’s no use to you when you’re dead
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| Nor even when alive
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| And the name of this piece of paper is
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| Protect and survive
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| So when the nukes come raining down
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| It’s great to be alive, well
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| World War Three can be such fun
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| If you protect and survive
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| Protect and survive
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| Well a nuclear strike can be recognised
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| It would stand out in a crowd
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| There’s a flash, then a bang, then a blast of heat
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| Then a bloody great mushroom cloud
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| So if you happen to see one at the end of your street
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| Would you please pick up the telephone
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| And inform your local police
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| So when the nukes come raining down
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| It’s great to be alive, well
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| World War Three can be such fun
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| If you protect and survive
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| Protect and survive
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| Put sticky tape on your windows
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| Block your ears and close your eyes
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| But it won’t make a blind bit of difference
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| You won’t have to watch yourself fry
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| If you find yourself in the target zone
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| And you haven’t got a shelter
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| Take a spade into the garden
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| And dig like merry hell, sir
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| So when the nukes come raining down
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| It’s great to be alive, well
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| World War Three can be such fun
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| If you protect and survive
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| Protect and survive
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| They’ve got strategic ICBM’s
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| Both theatre and tactical
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| With independently targeted
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| Multiple re-entry vehicles
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| Backfire bombers, Polaris sub’s, cruise missiles
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| And the boys who hang around the Pentagon
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| Can’t wait to use these toys
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| So when the nukes come raining down
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| It’s great to be alive, well
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| World War Three can be such fun
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| If you protect and survive
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| Protect and survive
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| When Armageddon gets underway
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| And the rockets come pouring down
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| All the bloody politicians who started it
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| Will scuttle off underground
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| And when they finally re-emerge
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| With no life to be found
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| They can administrate the rubble
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| And they can order each other around
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| So when the nukes come raining down
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| It’s great to be alive, well
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| World War Three can be such fun
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| If you protect and survive
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| Protect and survive
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| For they give us a four-minute warning
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| When the rockets are on their way
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| To give us time to panic and Christians time to pray
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| So when you hear the siren’s going
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| Place your head between your thighs
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| Whilst maintaining this posture
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| You can make a final gesture
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| And with a little muscular pressure
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| You can kiss your arse goodbye
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| So when the nukes come raining down
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| It’s great to be alive, well
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| World War Three can be such fun
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| If you protect and survive
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| Protect and survive
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| Protect and… |