| Here’s my keys, I want you to take 'em |
| I think I’m gonna need you to get back home |
| Hold on to my hat, I don’t wanna lose it I couldn’t stand for something else to be gone |
| I’m sure you know the reason I’m here cryin' |
| I think you’ll understand why |
| Tonight, I’m the designated drinker |
| I just lost the one that wrapped me around her finger |
| I need to get to where I can’t think of her |
| So tonight, I’m the designated drinker |
| I came here to get you to help me I need a friend to see me through |
| I hated to call, I knew you wouldn’t mind at all |
| I know you know I’d do the same for you |
| I’m not the kind that likes to drown my sorrow |
| I may hate myself tomorrow |
| Oh but |
| Tonight, I’m the designated drinker |
| I just lost the one that wrapped me around her finger |
| I need to get to where I can’t think of her |
| So tonight, I’m the designated drinker |
| We need to get to where we can’t think of her |
| So tonight, we’re the designated drinkers |
| Oh tonight, we’re the designated drinkers |