| Cheer up, it might never happen
|
| Drive by shootings on the streets of Clapham
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| Jackboots booting right across the map
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| And daddy’s gone 'a looting with his pistol packin' mama
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| And God didn’t make the little green apples
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| With the Halloween grin and the shaving tackle
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| Another worrying thing for the grans to grapple
|
| As the earth quakes, shakes and rolls and rattles on
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| And if the whole world is a stage
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| A kaleidoscope of lights and sound
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| You can take my Equity card away
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| And burn the theater to the ground
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| Cheer up, it might never happen kid
|
| Although I think it probably just did
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| The Christmas speech was a porno vid
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| A topless picture on the British quid
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| Jack and Jill went off the cliff
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| Contract killed in a lovers' tiff
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| While Ben and Bill smoke a comic spliff
|
| Tom and Jerry built to a moronic riff
|
| And if the whole world is a stage
|
| A kaleidoscope of lights and sound
|
| You can take my Equity card away
|
| And burn the theater to the ground
|
| Sack the actors send the clowns
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| Back to practice paper rounds
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| Sweeping leaves and walking dogs
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| Daily deeds and bob a jobs
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| Sitting babies, salting snow
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| Helping ladies cross the road
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| Washing cars, recycling tins
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| Catching falling stars and things
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| Helping old folk, corner shop
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| Little things that mean a lot
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| A fairytale-like end to violence
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| Through jumble sales and sponsored silence
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| Stop the world I wanna get back on
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| I want to learn to love the bomo
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| And have it tattooed across my gut
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| The immortal words cheer up
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| It might never happen to you kid
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| Although I think it probably just did |