| Everybody’s somebody’s fetish
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| Whether grand dame or cutely coquettish
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| Mainly like Mame or «No, No, Nanette"-ish
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| Everybody’s somebody’s fetish
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| Every persuasion has its adherents
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| Whether you pitch or run interference
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| If you’re forte is brains or appearance
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| Every persuasion has its adherents
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| Nothing’s too strange for somebody’s palate
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| Some spank the maid and some wank the valet
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| Some want to be struck down with a mallet
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| Nothing’s too strange for somebody’s palate
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| Everything is somebody’s perversion
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| One finger in or total submersion
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| Some need control and some want coercion
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| Everybody’s somebody’s fetish
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| And I, even I, with my wildebeest’s face
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| My eccentricities and my freedom from grace
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| Even for me has Cupid found a place
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| At last
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| One man’s poison is another man’s meat
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| Some go for inches and some go for feet
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| Some want the music and some like the beat
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| One man’s poison is another man’s meat
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| Everyone is somebody’s fancy
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| From 23rd Street down to Delancey
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| Whether by science or necromancy
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| Nothing’s so weird that nobody does it
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| And I, who have wandered alone for so long
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| On my little island just like King Kong
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| Here at the end I have written a song
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| For you |