| My Dad, never climbed Mount Everest |
| Never wrote a novel, never won a Pulitzer Prize |
| My Dad, never planned a freeway, |
| Never made a million, like some other guys. |
| He hasn’t any trophies, he never made Who’s Who, |
| But if you need his help there’s not a thing he wouldn’t do. |
| He doesn’t play piano, or the violin you know, |
| Yeah, but he can play a radio as well as any bro… |
| My Dad could beat up your Dad, but he wouldn’t. |
| Whoa, my Dad could beat up your Dad, but he wouldn’t even try. |
| He’s got the greatest laugh, he’s not afraid to cry, |
| I really can’t imagine that he ever told a lie. |
| He forgets so fast when you done something you shouldn’t. |
| My Dad could beat up your dad, but he wouldn’t. |
| My Dad, never ran for office, never found a cure for some rare disease. |
| My Dad, never swam the channel, never did learn how to speak Chinese. |
| He never once played Hamlet, or had a Friar’s Roast, |
| And whenever he cooks breakfast, well, he always burns the toast. |
| He’s never been to Europe or seen the pyramids. |
| His favorite pastime is just bragging about his kids. |
| My Dad could beat up your Dad, but he wouldn’t. |
| Whoa, my Dad could beat up your Dad, but he wouldn’t even try. |
| His life may be simple, but it’s far from hum-drum. |
| For an ordinary man, he’s extraordinary as they come. |
| I once tried to describe him, and I couldn’t. |
| My Dad could beat up your Dad, but he wouldn’t. |
| My Dad could beat up your Dad, but he wouldn’t. |
| Whoa, my Dad could beat up your Dad, but he wouldn’t even try. |
| I remember long ago, and it makes me awfully glad, |
| I looked down from heaven and said, «I want that guy to be my Dad.» |