| Washing machine, pinstripe dream stripped the gloss from a beauty queen
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| Punch and Judy, Judy, Judy
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| Found our nest in the Daily Express, met the Vicar in a holy vest
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| Punch and Judy, Punch and Judy
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| Brought up the children, Church of E, now I vegetate with a color TV
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| Worst ever thing that happened to me, oh for D-I-V-O-R-C-E
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| Oh Judy
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| Whatever happened to pillow fights?
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| Whatever happened to jeans so tight? |
| Friday nights?
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| Whatever happened to Lover’s lane?
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| Whatever happened to passion games? |
| Sunday walks in the pouring rain?
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| Punch, Punch, Punch and Judy
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| Punch, Punch, Punch
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| Curling tongs, mogadons
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| I got a headache baby, don’t take so long
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| Single beds, middle age dread, losing the war in the waistlands spread
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| Who left the cap off the toothpaste tube, who forgot to flush the loo?
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| Leave your sweaty socks outside the door
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| Don’t walk across my polished floor
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| Oh Judy
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| Whatever happened to morning smiles?
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| Whatever happened to wicked wiles? |
| Permissive styles?
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| Whatever happened to twinkling eyes?
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| Whatever happened to hard fast drives? |
| Compliments on unnatural size?
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| Punch, Punch, Punch and Judy
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| Punch, Punch, Punch
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| Propping up a bar, family car, sweating out a mortgage as a balding clerk
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| Punch and Judy
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| World War Three, suburbanshee, just slip her these pills and I’ll be free
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| No more Judy, Judy, Judy no more |