| Do you ever feel alone, old pal?
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| Are you ragged, running low on morale?
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| Have I got something grand that I’ve planned for you
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| Baby, do you burn for glowing power after dark?
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| In the shadow of some hour you feel the spark?
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| Have I got something swell that I’ll tell to you
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| You’re not alone
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| For so many years man has suffered the plague of isolation
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| Isolation from his fellow man, fellow woman, unable to connect
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| Unable to reach out and touch someone
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| To be tethered, to be one with the world
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| But now man and woman can be attuned to every arcane detail
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| Every dog’s bark, every boy’s back, every girl’s tiara
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| With a new invention, a staggering development in technology
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| Sleek White Baby
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| Keep it by your bedside, maybe
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| And then how all of your friends
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| All of our friends
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| Are here now
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| Such cheer now
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| Nine out of ten businessmen agree
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| The sleek white baby should be your constant companion
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| Whether you’re dining, traveling, moping, convalescing, or eating a sandwich
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| Don’t be the one left out
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| If you fail to buy our prized new machine
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| (Why would you do that?)
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| You will find yourself stung by the sting
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| (It's painful, really it is)
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| Of gloom and misery, how you will die alone
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| (That doesn’t sound pleasant, does it?)
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| Alone, alone, alone, alone
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| Woooh
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| Sleek White Baby |