| The Winkle Man comes down the street
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| And serves all the ladys
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| What do you know, nine months on
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| They’ve all got prams and babys
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| «The funny thing about, he was right little shrimp! | 
| Musta had some cockle»
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| He used to sell them celery
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| And according to the dirty talk
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| He asked them what they liked best:
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| The knob end, or the stalk!
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| «No wonder my old woman used to come in here with a smile on her face,
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| I’ll smash his face in!»
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| He’d go down to his local pub
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| For a pint and a packet of crisps
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| The barmaid’s got a 48
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| And he always grabs her tits, like coconuts!
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| «Smells like a little bit of bacon rind. | 
| When I go down to the pub,
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| I always take a bit of bread for the ducks *quack quack*. | 
| Negatory rubber duck.
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| I’ll give you 10−4»
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| A girl he had was a noisy bird
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| She used to scream and moan
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| She shouted 'help!' | 
| He said 'you silly cow
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| I can manage on me own'
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| «What, do you want to bring the neighbors in then? | 
| Oh what do you want,
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| a gang bang then?»
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| She said 'I was a virgin
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| Now I’ve been done twice in a day'
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| He said 'Twice?, But it’s only once'
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| She said 'right, you gonna dash away?'
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| «Allright, be gentle with me, it’s only my second time. | 
| .. today»
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| When he was young and in his prime
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| He’d have a woman any old time
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| Now he’s old and getting gray
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| He seems to, like the, other way!
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| «Well I suppose there’s no harm in him being a shirt-lifter, it just means
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| there’s more birds for all the fellows in the pub!»
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| : «Winkle, Winkle!»
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| : «Oh christ, here he comes again! | 
| Gay boys in bondage. | 
| Do you want a drink?»
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| : «Yes please sailor»
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| : «Who are you calling sailor? | 
| I’ll smash you in the gob!»
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| : «Up your’s, butch!»
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| : «I'll give you up your’s! | 
| You, bum burgler! | 
| Take that! |