| If I could get even with steven
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| I’d sacrifice many other day
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| To tell all the people who worship his name
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| All the tales of his merciless ways
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| It’s sad not a soul would believe them
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| So think as the web that he spun
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| But I know the truth of his terrible tales
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| And maybe the truth will save one
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| Oh steven, you’re not a man
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| You’re not even a boy
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| You’re just one cheating, apple eating heathen
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| The truth will bring me joy, oh joy, oh joy
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| If I could get even with steven
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| I’d have 2 stoops of very low
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| A swift uppercut wouldn’t cut it
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| I feel so below, yeah on top we must go
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| I give you a reason for leaving
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| And tell your insetatious clan
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| To quit the charades and for once just behave
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| As the heavenly father commence
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| Oh steven, you’re not a man
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| You’re not even a boy
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| You’re just one cheating, apple eating heathen
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| The truth will bring me joy, oh joy, oh joy
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| But I can’t get even with steven
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| I pray dear saint peter to spare
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| Now one feels the detail of your wretched ways
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| When you judge for you many affairs
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| Cause I cringe when I think that you’re thievin
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| Some poor helpless heart as I speak
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| But the handsome gets bastards
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| Are all in god’s grace
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| Till the craziest wake from their sleep
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| Oh steven, you’re not a man
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| You’re not even a boy
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| You’re just one cheating, apple eating heathen
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| The truth will bring me joy, oh joy, oh joy. |