| Sittin' in a Key West bar, here I am…
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| There they are, hangin' from the rafters,
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| Like monkeys.
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| Watch 'em gather 'round, it’s a primal sound…
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| «Can I buy you another round or get your number?»
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| Check, please.
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| They try to touch my heart but they move way too fast
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| Just another night of foreplay in a shot glass.
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| Where do I find the marryin' kind?
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| The kind of guy who’ll settle down,
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| Who ain’t afraid to be tied down.
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| And he loves his mother.
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| Where do I find the marryin' kind?
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| Whoa oh, whoa oh.
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| Whoa oh, whoa oh.
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| The lawyer with the crooked tie;
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| College boys with hungry eyes lookin' for the next notch
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| On their bedpost.
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| The doctor from Baltimore; | 
| kinda cute…
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| Twice divorced, tryin' to score,
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| But me, I want somethin' more.
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| Well, I don’t want to be the last to leave the party.
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| Well, I wanna know is it me? | 
| Oh where is he?
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| Where do I find the marryin' kind?
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| The kind of guy who’ll settle down,
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| Who ain’t afraid to be tied down.
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| And he loves his mother.
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| Where do I find the marryin' kind?
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| Oh
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| Whoa, whoa oh.
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| Classifieds, date lines… safer sex online.
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| My biological clock’s playin' with my life.
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| Average Joes, reality shows.
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| I don’t know.
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| Just when I think I’ve found the man of my dreams,
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| I realize, he’s only in my dreams.
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| Where do I find the marryin' kind?
 | 
| Oh, the kind of guy who’ll settle down,
 | 
| Who ain’t afraid to be tied down.
 | 
| And he loves his mother.
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| Where do I find…
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| Where do I find the marryin' kind?
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| Oh, whoa.
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| Oh, whoa.
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| Sittin' in a Key West bar, here I am…
 | 
| There they are, hangin' from the rafters,
 | 
| Like monkeys. |