| Everybody’s gonna boycott
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| Not a country’s gonna come
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| If they have games at all there be goin' some
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| For the Russians have decided
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| That they do not like L. A.
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| Well, I could have told them that
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| I say it fifty times a day
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| But there is no need to panic
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| And there is no need to cry
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| We’ll be running, jumping, tumbling children by and by
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| Did you think a little boycott
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| Would put good times in the soup
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| Did ya feel that hope was gone
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| And could feel the party poop
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| We can have the Olympics over at our house
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| If we use our heads it wouldn’t be so hard
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| Put the athletes on a bus
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| And bring ‘em over to us
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| We’ll fire a gun and run ‘em around the yard
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| We can have the Olympics over at our house
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| There’ll be room for all if no one’s gonna be there
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| And the fella with the torch
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| Bring it over to porch and
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| We’ll hang it up and show the world we care
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| There’s a basket in the driveway
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| Where the kids have always played
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| A treat for acrobats that even provides some shade
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| If the whole world’s gonna boycott
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| If the whole world stays at home
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| You can come on over to our house
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| We’ll have a good time on our own
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| We can have the Olympics over at our house
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| If we use our heads I know we’ll have a ball
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| We have a pool above the ground
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| We think it’s the nicest one around
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| If we shorten the races we can have ‘em all
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| Come on and have the Olympics over at our house
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| We can bake and sweat and get a medal or two
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| Grandma says she’ll hold the clock
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| While they run around the block
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| That’s about the limit of what grandma can do
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| If we have the Olympics over at our house
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| We can have the whole caboodle on TV
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| For a neighbour down the street
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| Has a video that’s a treat
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| If we mention his name he’ll lend the thing to me
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| Come on and have the Olympics over at our house
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| We’ll release a couple of pigeons and fire a gun
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| We could run a race or two
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| Then we’ll have some barbecue
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| Don’t you know we’re gonna have a lot of fun
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| And as an honorary starter
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| We’ve invited Jimmy Carter
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| Don’t you know we’re gonna have a lot of fu |