| What do you get if you fall in love? | 
| A pin to burst your ex’s bubble | 
| A diamond ring; | 
| brand new trouble | 
| From passionate to paranoid | 
| But I’ll fall in love again | 
| GSOH Q.E.D | 
| Fun-loving couple seek disco diva | 
| Quietly professional; | 
| non-smoker | 
| (GSOH Q.E.D.) | 
| New to the area; | 
| upwardly mobile | 
| Educated female seeks Adonis | 
| What do you see when he turns out the lights? | 
| A skin parade of his old lovers | 
| Sliding underneath the covers | 
| Another notch upon the bedpost of life | 
| But I’ll fall in love again | 
| GSOH Q.E.D | 
| Charming, well-bred, debonair sophisticate | 
| Unexpectedly re-available | 
| (GSOH Q.E.D.) | 
| Rugged, handsome, virile stallion | 
| Two-faced, impotent, spineless reptile | 
| Meanwhile… | 
| GSOH Q.E.D | 
| What becomes of the broken hearts? | 
| They take revenge then feel much better | 
| Send you death threats in a letter | 
| Intimate pictures on the internet | 
| But I’ll fall in love again | 
| GSOH Q.E.D | 
| Attractive divorcee, teen-aged children | 
| Looking for a knight in shining armour | 
| (GSOH Q.E.D.) | 
| Recent widower, young at heart | 
| Seeks lady ballroom dancing partner | 
| Company director, likes light opera | 
| Looks unimportant — must send photo | 
| (GSOH Q.E.D.) | 
| Old-fashioned romance, perfect chemistry | 
| Uninhabited afternoons free | 
| GSOH |