| Some time ago, at Santa’s place
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| Up in the old North Pole
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| There lived a lump of anthracite
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| Whose parents called him Joel
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| Joel, Joel, the lump of coal
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| Happy as a lump can be He just wants to keep Santa warm
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| And make the elves cozy
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| But Santa Claus had other plans
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| For Joel one fateful day
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| «Joel, you’re just the lump I need
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| Come join me on my sleigh»
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| Joel, Joel, the lump of coal
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| Heart leapt up with joy
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| «I'll soon be Santa’s present to A lucky girl or boy
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| We’ll laugh and play together
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| And hold each other tight
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| Snuggle under clean white sheets
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| When we go to sleep at night"
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| Then Santa’s elves all laughed at Joel
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| «You're in for a surprise
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| You’re not a special Christmas gift
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| You’re just a booby prize
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| What kid would ever want you?
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| You’re filthy as can be Now you have to go and live
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| With one who’s been naughty"
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| «But I make heat,"poor Joel cried
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| «And electricity»
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| «You pollute the air
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| With CO2 and mercury»
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| Joel, Joel, the lump of coal
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| Fell down upon his knees
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| «I don’t wanna live with a naughty kid
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| Don’t make me, Santa, please»
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| But Santa laughed his jolly laugh
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| «Ho, ho, you stupid lump
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| You’re just the thing to teach this brat
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| That Santa ain’t no chump»
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| So off they knew and, before he knew
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| Joel was in a sack
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| He cried and yelled to Santa Claus
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| «Why don’t we just go back?»
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| And then came Christmas morning
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| And, much to Joel’s surprise (Much to Joel’s surprise)
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| He saw a boy with the saddest face
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| And tears were in his eyes (Tears were in his eyes)
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| He picked Joel up and held him
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| And said «You can be my friend (Hey man, let’s be friends)
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| I would’ve liked some presents but
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| You’re what Santa chose to send (Santa chose to send)
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| It’s true, I’ve been a naughty boy
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| And maybe that’s a sin (Maybe that’s a sin)
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| If this is how Santa treats the kids
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| I’m just glad that I’m not him"
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| Joel, Joel, the lump of coal
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| Knew what he must do He said «Now I know the reason why
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| I got sent to you
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| Cause when a person hurts inside
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| It turns him hard and cruel
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| But I know how to make your pain
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| Into a precious jewel
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| So take me in your hand, young man
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| And squeeze with all your might
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| Let’s turn your pain and anger
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| Into something that shines bright"
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| Then Joel, Joel, the lump of coal
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| He gave his life away
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| So that one good naughty little boy
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| Had a diamond on Christmas day |