| Today I feel like Dorothy Parker
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| Today I’ve got the critical eye
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| I paint my world just a little bit darker
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| Don’t even have to try
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| Everyone seems a little bit desperate
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| Oh so witty, but over the edge
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| I don’t know why they try to impress you
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| With one foot on the window ledge
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| That’s just the way they play it
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| That’s just the way they are
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| Think up a line and say it
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| I’ll see you all later down at the bar
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| Don’t try to understand it
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| It won’t get you very far
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| Even the Great Pretender
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| Is really as naked a Hedy Lamarr
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| Today I feel like Dorothy Parker
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| Today I’m up here walking the floor
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| The light inside my head getting darker
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| Going to leave this town for sure
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| One block down and another block over
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| There’s a place that will make you a drink
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| The night is hot, I believe that I’ll go there
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| A password will get you in
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| Play a song by Hoagy Carmichael
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| Play that horn like Beiderbecke too
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| A glass or two of something you like’ll
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| Separate you from these blues
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| Life is a constant party
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| Swung to a shot of jazz
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| Even the broken-hearted
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| Can steal a feel of the razamatazz
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| This is the age of rhythm
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| These are the dancing years
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| Jump through the mirror with them
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| New York has no time for your tears
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| Today I feel like Dorothy Parker
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| Today I’ve got the critical eye
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| I paint my world just a little bit darker
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| Don’t even have to try |