| I do too. |
| If it’s about the title, I don’t wanna hear it. |
| Okay, never mind. |
| It’s not a great title. |
| Cruising down the road and look at me go now |
| I’m an author, just like Jodi Picoult now |
| Hit detective series |
| With Reddit fan page theories |
| «It's the doctor!» |
| Former journalist that’s got a new hadline |
| «Local woman hits paperback big time» |
| Going on my book tours |
| Hitting all th famous bookstores |
| Cramp, cramp! |
| Check it out, here’s a different Paige |
| Check me out while I turn the page |
| Living that good life, knew-that-I-could life |
| Now, now, now |
| Look at how now we meditate |
| Wow, 'cause we’re now on a different wave |
| Startin' our days with yoga and sage |
| Like, ow, ow! |
| Not flexible yet |
| When I get a call from Hollywood’s number |
| I pick it up, they say «What up? |
| And we wonder |
| Would you be ecstatic if your books were cinematic?» |
| Cut to: |
| I’m on a set and giving notes on the screenplay |
| I’m pounding lattes from the crafty caffeine tray |
| Acting nonchalant, 'kay |
| That we somehow cast Beyoncé |
| Every few months we take vacations |
| That’s where I get my inspirations |
| Deep-sea dives, looking fish in the eyes |
| Like, whoa, whoa, whoa |
| Then we go to the dolphin encounter |
| Swimming with dolphins, nothing profounder |
| Setting them free 'cause they belong in the sea |
| Like, go, go! |
| This took a weird turn. |
| Never thought I’d make The New York Times Best Seller List |
| Twenty-seven times |
| Never thought my life could ever be looking like a Nancy Meyers film |
| Where everything’s cream, cream, cream |
| The kitchen’s so clean, clean, clean |
| There’s always pastries on the counter |
| And it’s like, how did they get there |
| And how does she have the time to bake? |
| 'Cause I’m amazing |
| No life looks perfect on the page |
| I’m grateful for every former stage |
| And life can be rocky, but look where it got me |
| Now, now, now |
| Cruising down the road and look at me go now |
| I’m an author just like Jodi Picoult now |