| I plopped down in my easy chair and turned on Channel 2
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| A bad gunslinger called Salty Sam was chasin' poor Sweet Sue
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| He trapped her in the old sawmill and said with an evil laugh,
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| «If you don’t give me the deed to your ranch
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| I’ll saw you all in half!»
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| And then he grabbed her (and then)
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| He tied her up (and then)
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| He turned on the bandsaw (and then, and then!!!)
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| (chorus):
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| And then along came Jones
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| Tall thin Jones
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| Slow-walkin' Jones
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| Slow-talkin' Jones
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| Along came long, lean, lanky Jones
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| Commercial came on, so I got up to get myself a snack
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| You should’ve seen what was goin' on by the time that I got back
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| Down in the old abandoned mine, Sweet Sue was havin' fits
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| That villain said, «Give me the deed to your ranch
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| Or I’ll blow you all to bits!»
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| And then he grabbed her (and then)
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| He tied her up (and then)
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| He lit the fuse to the dynamite (and then, and then!!!)
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| (chorus)
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| I got so bugged I turned it off and turned on another show
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| But there was the same old shoot-'em-up and the same old rodeo
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| Salty Sam was tryin' to stuff Sweet Sue in a burlap sack
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| He said, «If you don’t give me the deed to your ranch
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| I’m gonna throw you on the railroad tracks!»
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| And then he grabbed her (and then)
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| He tied her up (and then)
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| He threw her on the railroad tracks (and then)
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| A train started comin' (and then, and then!!!)
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| (chorus) |