| Now here’s a little story | 
| To tell it is a must | 
| About an unsung hero | 
| That moves away your dust | 
| Some people make a fortune | 
| Others earn a mint | 
| My old man don’t earn much | 
| In fact he’s flippin' skint | 
| Oh, my old man’s a dustman | 
| He wears a dustman’s hat | 
| He wears cor-blimey trousers | 
| And he lives in a council flat | 
| He looks a proper nana | 
| In his great big hobnail boots | 
| He’s got such a job to pull them up That he calls 'em daisy roots | 
| Some folks give tips at Christmas | 
| And some of them forget | 
| So when he picks their bins up He spills some on the step | 
| Now one old man got nasty | 
| And to the council wrote | 
| Next time my old man went 'round there | 
| He punched him up the throat | 
| Oh my old man’s a dustman | 
| He wears a dustman’s hat | 
| He wears cor-blimey trousers | 
| And he lives in a council flat | 
| Lonnie: I say, I say, Les. | 
| Les: Yes? | 
| Lonnie: I, er, I found a police dog in my dustbin | 
| Les: Well how do you do know he’s a police dog? | 
| Lonnie: He had a policeman with him | 
| Though my old man’s a dustman | 
| He’s got an 'eart of gold | 
| He got married recently | 
| Though he’s eighty-six years old | 
| We said «'Ere, hang on, Dad, | 
| You’re getting past your prime» | 
| He said «Well, when you get to my age | 
| It helps to pass the time.» | 
| Oi! | 
| My old man’s a dustman | 
| He wears a dustman’s hat | 
| He wears cor-blimey trousers | 
| And he lives in a council flat | 
| Lonnie: I say, I say, I say! | 
| Les: Huh? | 
| Lonnie: My dustbin’s full of lilies. | 
| Les: Well throw 'em away then! | 
| Lonnie: I can’t: Lily’s wearing them. | 
| Now one day whilst in a hurry | 
| He missed a lady’s bin | 
| He hadn’t gone but a few yards | 
| When she chased after him | 
| «What game do you think you’re playing?» | 
| She cried right from the 'eart | 
| «You've missed me, am I too late?» | 
| «No, jump up on the cart!» | 
| Oi! | 
| My old man’s a dustman | 
| He wears a dustman’s hat | 
| He wears cor-blimey trousers | 
| And he lives in a council flat | 
| Lonnie: I say, I say, I say! | 
| Les: Not you again! | 
| Lonnie: My dustbin’s absolutely full with toadstools. | 
| Les: How do you know it’s full? | 
| Lonnie: 'Cause there’s not mushroom inside. | 
| He found a tiger’s head one day | 
| Nailed to a piece of wood | 
| The tiger looked like miserable | 
| But I suppose he should | 
| Just then from out a window | 
| A voice began to wail | 
| It said «Oi! | 
| Where’s me tiger’s head?» | 
| «Four foot from his tail.» | 
| Oh my old man’s a dustman | 
| He wears a dustman’s hat | 
| He wears cor-blimey trousers | 
| And he lives in a council flat | 
| Next time you see a dustman | 
| Looking all pale and sad | 
| Don’t kick him in the dustbin | 
| It might be my old dad |