| The room is hot and the pool is cold |
| The TV ain’t got HBO |
| And the water pressure’s always low |
| And the minibar is empty |
| And good luck gettin' a good night’s sleep |
| Right between the honeymoon suite |
| And the 1980's vending machine |
| Where all they sell is Pepsi |
| So if your friends ask where to send your mail |
| There’s a special place in Hell |
| A zero-star hotel |
| Don’t worry 'bout your stay |
| 'Cause I’ve already paid |
| There’s a special place in Hell for you |
| It ain’t like you got a soul to sell |
| So save your prayers for someone else |
| The concierge won’t be no help |
| He’s always on vacation |
| I don’t hate you, but I sure don’t wish you well |
| There’s a special place in Hell |
| A zero-star hotel |
| Don’t worry 'bout your stay |
| 'Cause I’ve already paid |
| There’s a special place in Hell for you |
| All the heat you put me through |
| Could never hold a candle to |
| The room that they got held for you |
| That special place in Hell for you |
| There’s a bad-lit bathroom mirror |
| Take a long look at yourself |
| There’s a special place in Hell |
| A zero-star hotel |
| Don’t worry 'bout your stay |
| 'Cause I’ve already paid |
| Yeah, there’s a special place in Hell for you |
| All the heat you put me through |
| Could never hold a candle to |
| The room that they got held for you |
| That special place in Hell for you |