| Well, it started in Vienna not so many years ago
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| When not enough folks were getting sick
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| That a starving young physician tried to better his position
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| By discovering what made his patients tick
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| He forgot about sclerosis and invented the psychosis
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| And a hundred ways that sex could be enjoyed
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| He adopted as his credo, «Down repression, up libido!»
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| And that was the start of Doctor Sigmund Freud
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| Well, Doctor Freud (Doctor Freud), oh Doctor Freud (Doctor Freud)
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| How we wish you had been differently employed!
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| But the set of circumstances still enhances the finances
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| Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud
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| Well, he analyzed the dreams of the teens and libertines
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| Substituted monologue for pills
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| He drew crowds just like Will Sadler, when along came Jung and Adler
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| And they said, «By God, there’s gold in them thar ills!»
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| They encountered no resistance when they served as Freud’s assistants
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| As with ego and with id they deftly toyed
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| But instead of toting bedpans, they wore analytic deadpans
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| Those ambitious doctors Adler, Jung, and Freud!
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| Well, Doctor Freud, (Doctor Freud), goes marching in (goes marching in?)
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| How we wish you had been differently employed!
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| But the set of circumstances still enhances the finances
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| Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud
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| Now the big three have departed, but not so the cult they started
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| No, it’s being carried on by a goodly band
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| And to trauma, shock, and war shock, someone’s gone and added Rorschach
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| And the thing has got completely out of hand!
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| So old boys with double chinsies, and a thousand would-be Kinseys
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| They discuss it at the drop of a repression
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| And I wouldn’t be complaining, but for all the loot I’m paying
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| Just to lie on someone’s couch and say confession?
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| Well, Doctor Freud (cha cha cha), oh Doctor Freud (cha cha cha)
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| How we wish you had been differently employed!
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| But the set of circumstances still enhances the finances
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| Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud
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| (Soft)
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| But the set of circumstances still enhances the finances
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| (That was beautiful, fellas)
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| Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud, cha cha cha |