| I’m Jon The Postman’s nephew
|
| And Steven Hanley’s niece
|
| And I’m a secret special agent
|
| With the Levenshulme Police
|
| Shaun Ryder is my cousin
|
| Rowetta rubs my feet
|
| And my dad built Abergaldie’s
|
| The cat food was mine to eat
|
| So stick my legs in Joe Bloggs flares
|
| And tell me lies about Manchester
|
| Oh tell me lies about Manchester
|
| I once saw the Sex Pistols
|
| At the Lesser Free Trade Hall
|
| I don’t think much to the Gallagher songs
|
| I could have wrote them all
|
| I’ve had a pint with every person
|
| Who’s ever played in The Fall
|
| And I’ve had numerous trials for City
|
| ‘Cos I am mega on the ball
|
| So fill my ears with a Haçienda classic
|
| Stick my legs in Joe Bloggs Flares
|
| And tell me lies about Manchester
|
| Oh tell me lies about Manchester
|
| John Henshaw is my role model
|
| I’ve looked for Eric twice
|
| And I give money to the homeless
|
| Which I get back through bags of spice
|
| I wrote the Manifesto
|
| In Chetham’s with Karl Marx
|
| And my bulldog has had a shih tzu, yeah
|
| In every single park
|
| So coat my eyes in Voodoo Rays
|
| Fill my ears with a Haçienda classic
|
| Stick my legs in Joe Bloggs flares
|
| And tell me lies about Manchester
|
| Oh tell me lies about Manchester
|
| So I stop and click my fingers
|
| When things are going well
|
| I’ve been backstage at the Apollo
|
| The tales that I could tell
|
| I get the best designer clobber dead cheap at Cheetham Hill
|
| The Piccadilly Rats are the ones who created the ecstasy pill
|
| So fill my nose with Albanian whiff
|
| Coat my eyes in Voodoo Rays
|
| Fill my ears with a Hacienda classic
|
| Stick my legs in Joe Bloggs flares and tell me lies about Manchester |