| +Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh |
| (A Letter From Camp) |
| Hello Muddah, hello Fadduh, |
| Here I am at Camp Granada. |
| Camp is very entertaining, |
| And they say we’ll have some fun if it stops raining. |
| I went hiking with Joe Spivey. |
| He developed poison ivy. |
| You remember Leonard Skinner. |
| He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner. |
| All the counselors hate the waiters, |
| And the lake has alligators. |
| And the head coach wants no sissies, |
| So he reads to us from something called Ulysses. |
| Now I don’t want this should scare ya, |
| But my bunk mate has malaria. |
| You remember Jeffrey Hardy. |
| They’re about to organize a searching party. |
| Take me home, oh Muddah, Fadduh, |
| Take me home, I hate Granada, |
| Don’t leave me out here in the forest, where |
| I might get eaten by a bear. |
| Take me home, I promise I will not make noise, |
| Or mess the house with other boys. |
| Oh please don’t make me stay, |
| I’ve been here one whole day. |
| Dearest Fadduh, darling Muddah, |
| How’s my precious little Bruddah? |
| Let me come home if you miss me. |
| I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kis me. |
| Wait a minute, it stopped hailing. |
| Guys are swimming, guys are sailing. |
| Playing baseball, gee that’s better. |
| Muddah, Fadduh, kindly disregard this letter! |