| All lined up in a wedding group
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| Here we are for a photograph
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| We’re all dressed up in a morning suit
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| All trying hard not to laugh
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| Since the early caveman in his fur
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| Took a trip to Gretna Green
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| There’s always been a photographer
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| To record the happy scene
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| Hold it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
|
| What a picture, what a photograph
|
| Poor old soul, blimey, what a joke
|
| Hat blown off in a cloud of smoke
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| Clap hands, stamp your feet
|
| Bangin' on the big bass drum
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| What a picture, what a picture
|
| Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
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| Stick it in your family album
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| The same thing happened long ago
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| When man was in his prime
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| And what went on we only know
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| From the snaps he took at the time
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| When Adam and Eve in their birthday suit
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| Decided to get wed
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| As Adam was about to taste the fruit
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| The man with the camera said
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| Hold it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
|
| What a picture, what a photograph
|
| Poor old soul, blimey, what a joke
|
| Hat blown off in a cloud of smoke
|
| Clap hands, stamp your feet
|
| Bangin' on the big bass drum
|
| What a picture, what a picture
|
| Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
|
| Stick it in your family album
|
| You’ve read it in a folio
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| Or seen it in a Shakespeare play
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| How Juliet fell for Romeo
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| In the merry month of May
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| And as he climbed the orchard wall
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| To reach his lady fair
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| As he tumbled, she began to bawl
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| As he floated through the air
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| Hold it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
|
| What a picture, what a photograph
|
| Poor young chap, what a night he spent
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| Tights all torn and his rapier bent
|
| Clap hands, stamp your feet
|
| Bangin' on the big bass drum
|
| What a picture, what a picture
|
| Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
|
| Stick it in your family album |