| Well first you gotta speak right says the guy at the door |
| As he give me the directions to the 2nd floor |
| Where a girl looking sassy with a smile on her face |
| Says you must be mistaken, this ain’t the right place |
| But it’s alright, got a ticket |
| But it’s looking like it’s gonna be a very sticky wicket |
| 'Cause the bow-tie in the corner with his nose in the air |
| Says there’s a right way and a wrong way |
| And a short way and a long way uptown |
| And a right way to go about it |
| And what’s the world coming to |
| When a night out at the opera’s like a day out at the zoo |
| And if you don’t mind I was just about leaving |
| I can’t stand being in the air that you’re breathing |
| I don’t mind telling you you’re so full of fiction |
| And opera singers have terrible diction |
| Now in this conversation there’s the music man |
| Who bought himself a reputation with a government grant |
| And when he comes on special I try to keep my head |
| But I just gotta, I just gotta, I just gotta see red |
| Say what’s the matter fella, don’t let it spoil your night |
| You only got invited 'cause you got the accent right |
| You think you’re sitting pretty, your fingers on the brass |
| And you stand there looking silly with your finger in your glass |
| We don’t want your kind round here |
| We don’t think you fit round here |
| So why don’t you stay outside |
| Pay your tax and subside |
| And if you don’t mind I was just about leaving |
| I can’t stand being in the air that you’re breathing |
| I don’t mind telling you you’re so full of fiction |
| And opera singers have terrible diction |
| We don’t want your kind round here |
| We don’t think you fit round here |
| So why don’t you stay outside |
| Pay your tax and subside. |