| Well, they called him Super Skier |
| As he sat around the sundeck, |
| For he swore that he would never take a spill. |
| When they finally brought him down |
| They had to use three toboggans |
| To carry all the pieces down the hill. |
| He was comin' down that slope |
| Doin' ninety miles an hour |
| When he caught an edge of his ski. |
| Well, his clothes, they were fast, |
| But the slopes, they were faster. |
| That’s the last of Super Skier we shall see. |
| Well, he hollered, «What the hell!» |
| As he lined them parallel: |
| He figured there was nothing more to learn. |
| (Oh, no…) |
| And as he started on his way, |
| He shouted, «Ondelay!», |
| Assuming that he’d never have to turn. |
| Well, he was slippin' down that slope |
| Doin' ninety miles an hour |
| When a mogul flipped him in the air. |
| His jumping form was fine |
| Until he ran into that pine, |
| And two one-legged skiers left from there. |
| (repeat chorus) |
| When he left that tree at last, |
| He was moving twice as fast. |
| Both halves were skimming moguls like a feather. |
| He said, «If I must be A split personality, |
| How can I ever keep my knees together? «One ski was headed north, |
| And the other headed west, |
| 'Cause both of them, you see, were running freer. |
| And folks up on Little Nell |
| Looked up, scared as hell, |
| Said, «It's a bird.» «No, it’s a plane.» «It's Super Skier!» |
| (No, uh, it’s a bird.) |
| (repeat chorus) |
| Now the moral of my story |
| (Though my story’s kinda gory): |
| For all you sundeck Charlies, there’s still hope. |
| You buy the fastest clothes you can, |
| Then talk skiing like a man, |
| But don’t let people catch you on the slope! |
| (repeat chorus) |
| And let’s get Charlie off the M. T. A. |